the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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