tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
