I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
