she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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