you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
