am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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