I didn't shave. On purpose
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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