So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
