In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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