If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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