what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
