Will you blow on my dice?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
