Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
