I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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