I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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