she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
