just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
