As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Shame - the story of my life.
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