You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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