R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
