so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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