Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
