Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
