Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
