I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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