I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
