hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Alive.
So much puke
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
