dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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