And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
