he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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