I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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