I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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