I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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