Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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