if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
