1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
