In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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