i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
