i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
