I wish I only lived at night.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
