How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
50% drunk capacity currently
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
