On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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