woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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