Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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