I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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