Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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