all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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