Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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