Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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