Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
splinters make it hard to masturbate
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
