it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
