I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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