He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
