Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
