First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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