so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
