I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
